Five works and three authors who've influenced me (by showing me what NOT to do)

When it comes to influences, it's the common thing to list off the positive influences; the works and the authors whose voice helped inspire you. But I also believe that learning from the mistakes of others is as important as learning from their successes. This is why I'm compiling this list: five works and three authors who taught me what NOT to do...

Work 1: A Sound of Thunder (2005 film)

Ray Bradbury; if you know your sci-fi, you know his name. One of his short stories,  A Sound of Thunder, was adapted into a big budget sci-fi film for 2005. And boy howdy, did they KILL it! Even if you've never read the original story, you could tell that the movie itself was nothing more than flash over substance, and not even good flash, either. A movie filled with more plot holes than a Puerto Rican road (a little Puerto Rican joke right there), this may well be one of the worst sci-fi films ever made.

What was the lesson I learned? Flash is no substitute for substance. You can have a pretty movie/exciting story, but if the viewer/reader comes out of it scratching their head going "that doesn't make sense!" you haven't written a good story. I quickly learned this type of story wasn't the kind I wanted to make; I wanted stories people could not just enjoy reading, they could get something out of it. I can have flash, but it HAS to be accompanied with substance!

Work 2: Agony in Pink (Power Rangers fanfic)

In the Power Rangers fandom, few names inspire as many chills and nausea as the name Agony in Pink. This infamous fanfic details the horrific experiences of Pink Ranger Kimberly Hart as she is tortured by the evil monster, Tortura. Hey, it's a fanfic about Power Rangers!

Now I'm not against Dark Fics (the name given to fanfics that are exceptionally dark, especially given the nature of the original work) but there's a limit to what I'm willing and able to tolerate. Turns out I'm not too keen reading page after page of a sixteen year old girl getting tortured to near death.

The lesson? Basically don't write torture porn. Don't... don't do it, it's not worth it.

Seriously, though, it taught me I can't write something I'm not comfortable reading. I also have to keep my audience in mind, and make sure what I'm writing isn't too extreme for my audience.

Work 3: Questionable Content (post 2016), By Jeph Jacques

Questionable Content is one of the longest running webcomics on the Internet, updating daily since 2004. During its first decade and a half, it was about twenty somethings who frequented a coffee shop and their personal struggles. Them starting in 2016, it became about robots who were thinly veiled metaphors for real life minorities. Also the series began to focus mostly on non-straight relationships, mostly Woman-Love-Woman types.

Unfortunately, this shift in focus then gave way to warm, fluffy, low-stakes stories, where any source of conflict is either ignored or "dealt" with quickly. This new focus soon neutered the comic's dramatic potential, turning what was once a fairly realistic (minus the comical robots) comic into what has come to be known as Queer Comfort Food.

The change never sat well with me, until I did a re-read of the comic, and came across what I think is one of the best pages artis Jeph Jacques has ever drawn/written. In it, the love interest of the original main character strips herself nude, exposing her body to her boyfriend, who then assuages her she's beautiful. Why is this significant? Because she's trans, and this is a moment of pure vulnerability.

It was a sweet, tender moment, one that felt earned. And that's when I realized: conflict and tenderness are two sides of the same coin. In fact, it is conflict that makes tenderness all the sweeter. THAT is why we LIKE stories where the guy has to win the girl over, when two people have to put the work in to make their marriage work, and why we root for the trans character to finally let herself be seen by someone she trusts.

Tenderness is earned, that's the lesson I accidentally earned from a comic that excised conflict in favor of warm and fuzzies.

Work 4: The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

The Da Vinci Code was my very first thriller, and when I first read it, I loved it. I was also eighteen when I first read it, so that explains why I liked it.

Let me mince no words: this novel's main problem is that Dan Brown makes up a LOT of shit about history and art, and biology. It's a fine story when you know jack about these topics, but when you're well informed about them, it's much harder to enjoy.

So what lesson did I learn? DO YOUR RESEARCH! Don't just make shit up!!!

Work 5: Babylon Rising, by Tim LaHaye

The name Tim LaHaye isn't as well known in Puerto Rico as in the US, mostly because we're majority Catholic while LaHaye's works have an obvious Baptist slant to them. So when I was given the book Babylon Rising as a gift, I had no way of knowing it was a religious thriller about uncovering Biblical artifacts.

Now I have no problem with religious fiction, even if the religion isn't my own. But DAMN did LaHaye's personal bias shine through in this book! For starters, he legit wrote a University dean that HATED the main character for being a Biblical Archaeologist! Then he added the Illuminati, and a press that was itching to discredit Biblical Archaeology; but it was the scene of how EASILY the main character converted a Saudi Prince to Christianity that made me go "That's it, I'm done."

The lesson I learned? Don't let your biases inform your writing. Or, if you're going to write a Christian story, be more subtle about it, and don't add scenes of characters converting non-Christians into Christianity for the hell (sorry) of it!

And now, the authors...

Author 1: Gloria Tesch

It's one thing to be a teen writer who manages to finish writing a whole book, let alone a series. That's legit something to be proud of! To self-publish that book and sell it online is also admirable! But that doesn't merit having an ego the size of Jupiter!

Gloria Tesch would have been just another Christopher Paolini wanna-be if she hadn't been so egotistical with her book series, Maradonia. First off, it's how she billed herself as the "world's youngest novelist," a claim she could never prove. Second, it's how she kept insisting that her books were so "GREAT" and "WONDERFUL," when really they're barely legible. The books have been so thoroughly trashed, it's amazing Tesch didn't try distancing herself from the series until she was an adult.

Tesch's ego reached a peak of sorts when she wrote, directed, filmed, and starred in the movie adaptation of her first book, which was released in ONE theatre, on ONE screen, in her own home town. It flopped.

Basically, what I learned from Tesch was to be humble. It's OK to be proud of myself for finishing something, especially if it's something few people ever accomplish. But BE HUMBLE about it! Don't go around walking like you're the next Tolkien, when what you wrote was a cookie-cutter fantasy book starring two shit heads!

Author 2- Norman Boutin

Norman Boutin wrote ONE book, which has not at all been well received, nor was it particularly well written. If he had let it go, that would have been the end of that, and Boutin's name would fade back into obscurity.

Boutin's mistake was letting his ego do the thinking for him, getting into fights with people who gave his book, Empress Theresa, a negative review. This led to some very negative attention from the Internet, eventually reaching even BookTube, the Book side of YouTube. My first exposure to the guy was the show Down the Rabbit Hole, where an entire half hour episode was dedicated to chronicle the many ways this author reacted to his book's reception. It's gotten to the point that Boutin's antics have completely overshadowed his book's mediocrity!

The lesson I learned from Boutin was that the idea that "all publicity is good publicity" is bullshit. Haters don't make you famous, they make you a target for mockery. And also, just because someone has a negative view of your book, it doesn't give you the right to be a dick to them. Be humble when receiving positive reviews, and graceful when receiving negative reviews.

Author 3- Christian Weston Chandler

No picture will be included!

What else can I say about the most documented person in history!? Just what I learned from them: Work hard for your goals, don't settle for mediocrity, and KEEP YOUR PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE!!!